Ya’ll I know it’s not the night before Christmas but, it feels like tomorrow I’m either going to get the greatest gift or a bag of coal.
You know the jest of it, I’ve gone to court and filed guardianship tomorrow is the temporary guardianship hearing. In my heart, I believe if I can be granted guardianship tomorrow, I will win it officially a few months down the road -even with a fight.
This is critical.
If the judges orders don’t go my way I may never see this child again. Keep up with future blog posts where I actually get detailed on use proper names and dive deep into the situation at hand. Right now, I’m trying to keep it cute and discreet. However, my lovely readers aren’t slow they know who I’m talking about.
In the meantime, let’s talk about today and a little bit about the previous days I’ve had.
I’ll start with Saturday, the day of my sisters funeral. I’ve been to A LOT of funerals since 2022 when my brother (in-law) died. It was at the time one of the biggest losses in my life. I had a hard time grieving for him and still do. What I didn’t know what that his death was just the first of many. By the time my sister passed, I thought I’d become numb to the feeling of loss.
Unfortunately, I had no idea the depth of sadness and grief that was waiting for me when she died. It has been unimaginable. Not just grieving but dealing with all the aspects of funeral planning, the police, strange people and still being an active parent. Her funeral, was supposed to be a place I could say my final farewells and move on peacefully knowing my sister is at rest but, it was tainted.
The absence of her daughter crushed my heart but, lit a fire under me. I started to see the mistakes I made during this process in putting my trust in people to do what they said they were going to do. Instead of feeling like I had done my sister good and given her a beautiful service. I felt incomplete and like a failure because I couldn’t get the one person there she wanted.
All together it was a nice event. I loved seeing my family, especially those I hadn’t seen in many years. I’m used to always going to family events with my sister so it felt strange not to have her by my side. I felt jealous seeing my aunties and cousins all with their sisters while mine was in an urn in the trunk. The wave of many different emotions were hitting me hard. And I also couldn’t get off my mind what I had to do next -get my niece. It was supposed to be an easy and smooth transition but I knew it wouldn’t be.
Monday morning, first thing I was at the court house. There were absolutely no games to be played, all trust had been lost and I would not be robbed of my niece. I knew I would fight for her and so I started the process.
I spent the entire morning filling out loads of paperwork. I still don’t feel absolutely confident that I’ll be granted guardianship but, I do feel like I’m doing everything that I can. Everything I know my sister would if she was the one in this position.
Since I couldn’t go home and do the court thing I decided to use up a free hotel voucher I had at a local casino. They even gave me a free dinner buffet and I was upgraded to a suite. I felt like God was trying to tell me “Girl, relax!”. So, I took a hot bath in their jacuzzi tub and almost immediately went to sleep. For the first time in the month since she’d passed I slept like a rock. It felt like the weight that’d been on my shoulder just up and left. Maybe the casino blankets or weighted or something but, I just felt so comfortable – I practically melted into the bed. And the best part was I didn’t wake up with allergies.
Today, I didn’t do much either. I packed up my younger kids to home so they wouldn’t miss any more school. Plus I needed to grab some important documents for court. Since I have a lot of traveling to do I’m going to go on ahead and head back down the mountain so I can be closer in the morning. I don’t want any issues. I can’t wait to come back tomorrow and keep you all updated.
Wish me luck!