I had the CRAZIEST dream last night and although I can’t remember everything, I do remember one thing and it is scary. If I had the current state of mind to be anything other than sad, I would probably be in psychosis. In a completely panicked state full of anxiety at every turn.
It wasn’t necessarily the dream that was scary. It was afterwards when I had to find something to help me identify what I saw. The name that came up really scared me. With everything going on in my life, the idea of what it could possibly mean scared me.
But, I don’t have anymore room for trauma or grief. So, I have to believe that it was just a dream and keep pushing. Let me tell you about this part of the dream, since as I mentioned I can’t remember the entire dream.
At some point in the dream I was walking with my partner and he stepped to the side. For what I can’t remember but, I do remember I couldn’t really see him but I knew where he was. I’d like to say he ducked off around the corner to pee but, I can’t remember. Anyways, as I’m still on the road (which by the way we were walking in the driveway of an apartment building) I heard a strong rustling coming from my other side. I looked and all of a sudden two of the most insane looking beasts came running toward me. They moved around me and headed straight to where my partner was.
The next thing I know, my partner was lighted up in the air by one of these monsters and carried away -his body limp. It was literally terrifying to experience in the dream and think about away because -W.T.F? It all happened so fast and it seems like NO ONE else saw what just happened. I went into a frenzy. The dream continued but, I didn’t hold onto the memory of else but those demonic looking animals.
This morning, I decided to describe them and see if anything close would pop up and THIS is what popped up. They’re called death dogs and that makes me feel absolutely worse and like I should have just left it alone. But anyways this is as close to what I saw as it gets. I have no idea why my mind would conjour these beasts up. Maybe its fear of losing my husband too after everything else in my life. Who knows?
These MFs is ugly huh?
Well anyways, I don’t want to dwell on it. It’s scary.
Today, I was supposed to get on here and clean up this blog a little bit. You know, make sure my seo is good on my posts, create appealing thumbnails for my articles, update my blogs that were lazily thrown together other the last few days. Yet, I laid on the couch ALL DAY LONG and I enjoyed it, so tomorrow, I promise I’ll get to the work I’ve been neglecting.
Today, was all about resting and relaxing because I did not have to leave the house. No drop offs, no pick up, just in the house. I started reading a book called “Blob a love story” and I don’t even want to get started on what’s going on in that book. I will say however that it’s been an entertaining read so far! I can’t wait to finish it and talk about it a little bit more with you.
Anyways, I’ll leave today’s post at that. We’re on day 11 and I am so happy to be here.