Every new year I sing the same song “New year, new me” and run off a short list of goals I’d like to accomplish. You can probably guess they don’t differ too much from the majority of people. Lose weight, eat better, make more money. Me and the resolutions I make are very very old friends. Actually, we should be frenemies. I mean after all resolutions show up at the ball drop dressed their best and we go back in fourth about how we missed each other so much the previous year but this year will be different. We’ll really commit to spending more time today. But, the truth is I rarely stick to my resolutions no matter how good or easy they are which is why I decided in 2026 resolutions could actually kiss my ass. Instead, I would have non-negotiables.
What are non-negotiables
Before we dive into non-negotiables, let me walk you through resolutions and why they had to go. As most of us know resolutions are goals we create for ourselves at the beginning of the year. The point of these goals is to have improved some portion of our lives. Most common resolutions are related to health like losing a specific amount of weight, gaining muscle, cutting out sugar or going vegan. The resolutions people make are really just statements “In 2026 I’m going to lose 30 pounds!” “In 2026 I’m not eating meat”. That’s it -that’s the goal, that’s the resolution a simple statement or declaration of a want.
But, what if I told you most people don’t see their resolutions comes to fruition? What if I told you I think I cracked the code?
How?
With non-negotiables.
So, what are non-negotiables.
Non-negotiables are the actions we do or don’t take to accomplish our goals and finally live out our resolutions. Unlike resolutions non-negotiables are not statements, they’re actions. If you’re resolution is “I want to lose 30 pounds this year” good for you but, that’s just a statement. I want a million dollars but how can I accomplish getting it? That’s where non-negotiables come in. Non-negotiables start with a question but the answer is always always always an action. In this scenerio what’s the question?
“How do I lose 30 pounds?” is the question. If you did some research you’ll find a world wide web full of suggestions. One of which could be walk 15 minutes daily and practice fasting. You take that advice and outline your non-negotiables. In this case your non-negotiable is to walk for 15 minutes everyday and only eat between a certain window of time. These are you rules. (Look, I want to dive deeper into this but I’m not an expert, this isn’t my particular goal, and we’re just using basic examples and probably bad advice lol. Anyways.) You have to make the conscious decision to never make exceptions to the rule – its non-negotiable and that’s how you’ll finally obtain your resolution.
Or so I thought….
Remember when I said I cracked the code about finally reaching your new years resolutions? Well, having non-negotiables was something that I absolutely believed was going to work for me. I jot down a list of all my 2026 non-negotiables and guess what? I can’t remember where that list is. Plus I’ve definitely done some negotiating. I’m not saying that having non-negotiables doesn’t work. I believe it can and that it does work but not alone. This is especially true if you’re forming new habits.
What you really need is to have your non-negotiables written down and put somewhere you can see them all day everyday to serve as a subconscious and sometimes blatant reminder of your goals. Basically a vision board but, of rules you have to follow on a day to day basis instead of martinis and bundles of cash. Our non-negotiables are going to help us achieve everything on the vision board.
You don’t have to believe me but trust me. In 2024, my closet doors were mirrors and I took a chalk marker to them and wrote out several things I wanted to accomplish and there was no wiggle room. Day in and day out it was what I saw. When I woke up, when I went to bed, when I changed, when I ate dinner, when I watched TV. I constantly saw my list of things that HAD TO BE DONE and before I knew it that list naturally got smaller and smaller. Things I felt like I would never get ahead of were marked off without a second thought. I knew what I wanted my end result to be and I wrote out and followed the steps to get there.
We aren’t two weeks into 2026 and I’m off the wagon. Now what?
Look, I have to give myself some grace. I shouldn’t beat myself up because I can’t remember my own damn non-negotiables or where I put them. I’ve been going through a lot and my memory is shot. I’ve started a new medication and it’s having it’s effects. I’m grieving and some days I don’t even want to get out of bed. But, I know the funk I’m in isn’t permanent and that it comes in waves and I accept that and move in a way that feels right for me. So, even though I have fallen off pretty early on I am not out.
Its like when Steve fell off the tower in the Stranger Things finale and the screen cuts to black. That’s me when I wake up crying thinking about my sister, thinking about this court case, thinking about rent and how its just too damn high and instead of getting up and pushing throw the day I lay there and allow myself to cry but then Johnathan comes and saves me from the dark and I continue one to kick ass for another day. In my case Johnathan is a lot of things like kind words from my kids, an unexpected text, a good memory, or my personal favorite unexpected money hitting my account. lol.
The point is, it’s okay to fall off. I don’t know what it is that’s going to save YOU but we all have something. And starting over isn’t really so bad. We tend to get in our own way thinking because we couldn’t do something all the way through that we didn’t accomplish anything at all along the way.
WRONG!
Anyways. I feel like I might have gotten off track here. My overall point is that I have non-negotiables instead of resolutions and I’m tittering on the idea of adding my 500 words a day to the list of non-negotiables. What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.